Epic first guest post

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Below is the first guest post, created by Pete from Evolution.Of.Insanity

His posts give me a giggle and he’s adapted his humour into a kind-of review for Lynx Excite for the men. It’s a great post so read below and check out his blog!

Quirky Monkey Reviews have always been reviews about female beauty products, made by the lovely Joely Roely but I want to take a moment to try and open up to a wider demographic and hit the male audience for a second by talking a little bit about Lynx Deodorant, or Axe in other countries.

Not long ago the new Lynx Excite fragrance came out, with the tag line, “Even Angel’s Will Fall”. An obvious marketing ploy, coupled with this television advert:

It makes you believe that if you spray yourself with this deodorant, angel’s will literally fall out of the sky, causing all sorts of mischief on the way down and causing damage to property.

We all knew this to be false of course, what deodorant could possibly achieve this?

I felt so disappointed when Lynx Dark Temptation came out, the advert lead me to believe that I’d turn to a chocolate man and I’d have many women sniff me and eat my chocolatey ears, but alas no such thing happened, the best I got was one of my mates telling me I smelt nice, which is something one bloke should not be saying to another bloke.

And while most of their adverts depict a lot of women chasing after you when you spray yourself with any of their fine fragrances, it has never happened for me or anyone I know.

Feeling safe from angel’s I bought the new Lynx Excite the next time I was in Boots, it normally retails for a price of £2.95 with a three for two offer in Boots however, should you go to somewhere like Wilkinson’s it can work out a lot cheaper.

I took this product home, I mean don’t get me wrong, I was in there for other things too, I didn’t make the special effort to go and buy some deodorant. I took the deodorant out of the plastic bag and took a spray, I basked in the flavours touching my nose, it was probably their best one yet.

But that’s when everything started to go wrong, I could hear loud thunder outside, “it’s okay” I thought, “it’s winter, it’s bound to happen.”

Then something hit the roof of my house, I could hear more and more bangs, almost earthquake like, I looked outside and things were falling out of the sky and you wouldn’t believe it unless you saw it yourself but these things that were falling out of the sky were actual angel’s!

Obviously they don’t have any money to pay for the roof, I’d have to pay for that myself, it was fine, a few broken tiles, or at least that’s what I thought it was, until one of them landed on my car, flattening it with the extreme speed they hit it, I ran outside to shout at these pesky otherworldly creatures, but then they surrounded me, tore the halo’s from their heads and smashed them on the floor, then they molested me.

“Doesn’t sound so bad” you may think, well think again, because a molesting from former angel’s as I have now learnt does not pay for a new roof or a replacement car.

So for the smell and the molesting, it’s well worth the £2.95 but for your own sake, spray yourself in a wide open space away from your personal belongings because literally, Even Angels Will Fall.

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14 responses »

  1. Pingback: My Dream Job « Evolution.Of.Insanity v2

  2. Love the chocolate one and bought it for my son when it came out at first. Lynx has really come a long way since it came out at first and was the cheap version of everything else.

    Nice review Pete 😀

  3. I love this! All adverts are literal, obviously. Marketing and lies are unheard of in the same sentence! I actually got my boyfriend some of this for Christmas. We’re gonna have to build a brick shed over his car.

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